Oftentimes in college, there's a lot of pressure to figure out what do you want to do. In fact, probably when you went home for the holidays, five different people asked you, so what's your major? And you're probably thinking, I have no idea. I don't know what I want to do. That's okay. You don't need to know what you want to do yet. That's what college is for. It's for exploring all the different possibilities and opportunities. Live in the moment. Be present. Try to experience college and understand what you like, what you don't like, what you're good at, what you're not good at, and that will help guide you towards finding a future and a career.
You get to your college dorm room and who's the first person you meet? Your new roommate. It can be very exciting. Sometimes roommates are perfect fits best friends last forever. Sometimes it can be a little difficult. If you are in a situation where you and your roommate just aren't getting along, it's important to try and find common ground. Maybe talk to your RA or find another friend to be an intermediate between the two of you. Also, keep in mind you don't need to be best friends with your roommate. You just need to be roommates. You and your roommate can come up with common ground rules that each of you will abide by in order to make the living situation bearable. If you feel like the situation with your roommate is not livable, talk to someone about potentially getting switched to a different room. Sometimes that can happen, but if it can't work with your roommate to try and find things that he or she may want you to do and then you can in turn ask them to do certain things for you. If you feel like the situation with your roommate is getting to a point where it's almost unresolvable, try and schedule a conversation with your roommate. Try and do it in a place that isn't your room. Maybe on a neutral ground where both of you feel comfortable. Take turns talking so that each of you can hear each other and try to come to some sort of resolution that will help both of you feel comfortable in the space that you need to share. Some of the issues you may face with a roommate could be poor personal hygiene, loud parties at night, eating your food, taking up the common space for themselves, leaving their stuff all over the place. If you have any of these problems, it may be good to assertively communicate with your roommate. Hey, this bothers me. I was hoping we could find some sort of resolution. At the beginning of any roommate relationship where you feel there may be a little bit of tension, it could be good to set up some ground rules such as cleanliness, noise, light, all these things that really impact you personally. Sometimes personalities clash and it's just not a good fit. If that's the case, it may be time to talk to your RA or housing administrator.
Oftentimes when people are depressed, they'll just want to stay in bed all day and not talk to anybody. The problem is that actually perpetuates depression. Instead, it may be good to go schedule meeting up with one friend during the day, just plan to have one interaction with another person. The more you interact with people, the better you will feel. When we interact with people, we get certain neurotransmitters that go through our brain that make us feel better. When you're feeling depressed, it may be natural to feel like I don't want to talk to anybody and avoid all social contact. That's the exact opposite of what you need to do in order to feel better. Social support and social contact can really help to improve your mood and increase your likelihood of getting out of a depression. If you can just schedule one meeting with a friend or a family member a day, you'll notice that you'll start to feel better and you'll be able to schedule more and more until you're able to climb out of that depression. Of course, if you're feeling depressed, you should always seek the help of a mental health professional. If you're feeling depressed, you may find yourself binge watching movies or TV shows or sitting at home eating all day or sleeping on the bed. Those are all signs that maybe it's time to start talking to a friend or getting out once a day. It can often be helpful to talk to friends about what's going on with us because they understand us well. They can help us learn what we're doing and what we need to be doing in order to feel better. They may come up with suggestions on, hey, maybe if you try this, you might feel a little better, but keep in mind that talking to a friend is not a substitute for talking to a mental health professional. If you find your depression is lasting for most of the day, nearly every day, it may be time to consider seeking the advice of a mental health professional.
It's very common to feel homesick when you go to college for the first time. You've never lived in a place that didn't have your parents helping you and guiding you through every experience. Sure, sometimes you may fight with your parents, but that doesn't mean you don't miss them. They've been with you for your whole life up until this point, and it's normal to feel a little sense of missing them. What's important is to find relationships with friends and develop those relationships so that you can become an independent person. Many campuses will have activities, groups, or even support groups for students who feel homesick. You can seek these out at a college counseling center. Also talking to other students about how they're feeling may help. Oftentimes, you are not the only one who's feeling homesick. In fact, it's very common. That's why we're making this video. Homesickness is normal and it's part of the college experience, and if you can find the people that you can share it with, you can get through it together.
College is all about figuring out who you are and who you want to be. Oftentimes you'll be encountered with peer pressure from other friends telling you, oh, this is what you should do. It takes a certain strength to be able to say, no, I don't want to do that. I'd much rather do this or, no, that's okay, thanks. It's difficult to say because oftentimes you feel like you're being judged or you're being evaluated by other people and if you don't do this thing, then maybe you won't look cool, but in truth it's really up to you to decide what's worth it. Consider all the legal, ethical and moral ramifications of anything you do or anything someone asks you to do. It's important to choose your friends wisely and if you see a friend who you think might be peer pressured into doing something they don't want to do, help them find the strength to say, no, I don't really want to do that. Or, hey, let's try and do something else. If you feel like you've been dealing with a lot of peer pressure and you need someone to talk to, find a supportive friend or a parent or a college counselor, or even a professor. Find someone who can support you and help you make the decisions that you want to make. So that next time when you're in a situation where there's peer pressure, you're able to assert yourself and say no in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
If you're on a college campus and you're dealing with homesickness, friends issues, relationship problems, anything related to your academics, go seek out your college counseling services. They may be able to help and they're included in your tuition.
In college it can be really exciting to try all these new, different things. You may find yourself having a really busy schedule going to this club, joining this group, doing this homework, meeting these people. Make sure you schedule some time for you. Take care of yourself. It's what we call self care. This is really important to make sure that you don't lose sight of who you are in the college experience. Find time in the day for you. Schedule a time for you to just take a walk. Schedule time for you to go on the computer and just watch TV or a movie. Find time to just be you within the college experience.
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